I thought of my friends Simi and Nicole a lot as I wrote ‘The Proposal,’ especially in the scenes–and group texts–with Nik and her two best friends, Courtney and Dana. The three of them support each other, make fun of each other, fly to each other’s sides when they need it, and–in that way that only your very best friends can–call each other out on their nonsense when they need it. That’s who Simi and Nicole are for me.
The three of us met in college. On paper, we couldn’t be more different – a black woman from California who wanted to be a lawyer, an Indian woman from Philadelphia who was a political science major, and a white woman from a small town in Tennessee headed for a Ph.D. in biology. But something clicked between the three of us. It didn’t happen right away, as a matter of fact, it was so gradual that none of us can remember exactly when we all became best friends. But I can’t imagine my life without them.
Our constant group text–like the group text between Nik, Courtney, and Dana–is a daily joy to me. I’m in California and am somewhat of a late riser (something Simi and Nicole know all too well) so I often wake up to a pile of texts from the two of them, sometimes discussing what my reaction will be to their news or gossip. We send all caps texts to share good news, and then watch our phones explode from the responses. We send photos of potential outfits and makeup choices for anything from job interviews to weddings, we vent about our families, we cheer each other on for everything from running a 5k to childbirth, and we gossip a lot. But our texts aren’t all light hearted: we’ve supported each other through sick parents, medical emergencies, job crises, and relationship woes. But we can all usually make each other laugh in the midst of stress.
“We have all gotten where we are today–at least in part–through our shared friendship, support, love of French fries and champagne, and (occasionally tough) love.”
Courtney and Dana usually soothe Nik over bourbon and cupcakes, and like the three of them, Simi and Nicole and I spend a lot of time around tables together, though we’re more often having champagne and French fries. Even though we all live far away from each other, there are times when we know we have to be there for each other in person. Sometimes this is planned, like our annual vacations together. But more than once, we’ve booked last minute flights because our friend is in a crisis. When I was faced with a potentially scary medical diagnosis, they texted me with sympathy and support, but they also told me when their flights would land.
And then–like Nik’s friends do for her–there are those times when we know we need to give each other tough love. We have all gently–and not at all gently–let one another know when they need to pull themselves together, or are acting like a jerk, or are just being clueless. There are moments in The Proposal where Nik holds off on telling certain things to her friends, because she knows just what they’ll say (and though Nik wouldn’t put it like this, she holds off because she knows they’ll be right). I have absolutely done this with Simi and Nicole…and yes, they were right.
The three of us are very different today than we were when we met in college. The poli-sci major from Philadelphia works in marketing and runs a community initiative in Minnesota, the biologist from Tennessee is a partner at a law firm in Boston, and the lawyer from California is now a writer.
But we have all gotten where we are today – at least in part – through our shared friendship, support, love of French fries and champagne, and (occasionally tough) love. I hope all of you have friends like Simi and Nicole – or Courtney and Dana – who will celebrate your highs, comfort you during your lows, and be there for you, no matter what.
