Writers often have strange rituals that accompany their writing life. I’ve met a writer who only likes to write after midnight, another who writes in train stations, a third who has a lucky typewriter.
My strange ritual is that I listen to the same song on repeat the entire time I’m writing a novel. One song from the time I write the first sentence until the time I close the last page. Listening to the same song on repeat may feel like it would become…well…repetitious. But, for me, it has the opposite effect. As I dig into a new story, listening to a song on repeat not only provides comforting background music, but it takes on a meditative quality. A great song helps keep me in the story from day to day. It helps me remember where I left off, and where I’m hoping to go.
For , that song was If I Should Fall Behind by Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band. It’s a live version of the song and it’s kept me company for each iteration, each draft, over the last eight years. I still remember the first time I heard this version of the song. I was living in New York City at the time and a friend was in town, and we were having one of those great late-night talks where you lose track of time, and suddenly it was nearly midnight, and we both had work the next day, and If I Should Fall Behind came up on her computer’s playlist. I remember that the song’s beauty stopped me, cold. It begins with Bruce Springsteen singing the first verse, then each member of the band singing a subsequent verse. And then the entire band—Bruce included—sing the last verse together.
I was so moved when I heard it that night that it immediately became one of my favorite songs.
Years later, when I sat down to start working on , I started listening to several songs—a playlist of contenders, if you will—but when my computer landed on If I Should Fall Behind, I knew I found my novel’s fit. If I Should Fall Behind’s soulfulness, it’s heart, it’s beauty—it provided the perfect soundtrack as I went to work thinking about the book’s protagonist, Hannah Hall: thinking about who Hannah was, about what she was about to face.
Over the eight years If I Should Fall Behind became an anthem to the love story at the center of the novel. I envisioned If I Should Fall Behind playing an important role in their life. I started to imagine it as the last song they danced to on their wedding night—Owen and Hannah pulling it up on Owen’s iPhone after their few wedding guests had long departed, the restaurant dark and quiet. Except for the two of them. Except for the beauty of Bruce.
Ultimately, also told a different kind of love story, the love story between Hannah and Bailey. And, without providing any spoilers, I like to think this song refers to the way Hannah and Bailey care for each other too. I like to picture the two of them, on their floating home’s porch, finding comfort in sitting quietly with each other, listening to Bruce, finding their way home.
Listen to our Spotify Playlist inspired by The Last Thing He Told Me here.
